Too much Dave will kill you

Oh dear..... It was bound to happen at some point. Like all good narcotics in life, there is a thin line between social Dave consumption and full blown addiction. You must feel sorry for those who canot control their Dave urges.
You all remember baby Fred? Well it turns out that he didn't disappear, as everybody else suspected, he just became some kind of slave to Dave. He managed to squeeze out this quick message. Just to show his level of addiction, in his one moment of freedom, he is straight on to a Dave website. Please read the below story, NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED :


"I am writing from the grasp of Dave.

I made a mistake and looked into his handsome eyes but i could not take such beauty and I am now a prisoner of his love. I dont have much time, my master is coming.

I fear its time for my erotic monkey dancing, master dave says it helps him relax, someone please help me escape his spell, I have a poo to look after and without my guidance she will stray,

Dave you know not what you have done to me.

Please help.

Fred...