Dave Noir

Feeling kind of artistic today, so I present to you... Dave noir.

Michaelangelo had the sisting chapel. However, if he had the Dave to paint, one can easily draw the conclusion that he would have realised the sistine chapel was nothing but a bloody ceiling. And nobody looks at ceilings anymore, although everyone does look at Dave.

Dave gets Sexy

This picture was sent to me by a regular visitor and person I live with, under the title 'Dave gets sexy'

Pah.....

Like there is any other kind of thing to do.....

Like ronseal, this picture does exactly what was promised from the outset. Sexy you wanted, pouting you got. Its win-win

On the warpath

At first appearance, this photo actually has nobody in it.. However, tilt your heads in a magic eye manner, and, amazingly, Dave appears!! It is tricky, but this kind of face paint can be used to hide in the jungle, or possibly integrate with African tribes, two things which Dave is yet to accomplish

Rejoice for Double Dave Day

My Laptop is on the verge of self-destructing, so here is some double Dave for you today!

Time to play a little bit of a quiz:

One of the above characters is Dave, the other a waxwork of Elvis, but which is which? Answers on a postcard please....

Its cold outside, come into Dave's lair of love

Yummm.....

Faux Leopard skin. And be sure there are some scented candles in there somewhere

Man, there is just something amazing about Dave. I mean last night we were having a few in the pub, and whereas normal people would stop after about 15 minutes, we spurred each other on to making 45 minutes of continuous erection jokes. Now THATS friendship.

Last night Dave also came up with, and solved, the ultimate riddle:

"When is a vegetable not a vegetable? When it's a snack"

Confused? Not arf.....

And as for the picture...... It's pretty good isn't it?

Another Classic post, well worthy of sharing with the world. Yes it is long, but persevere, for it is worth it. Due to the graphic nature of this post, which contains some mild Dave, it has been rated 18. If you are easily offended, please look away now.

In order to preserve anonymity of the writer (Mr. Merritt your secret obsession is safe with me), some of the following names have been changed.

"Hello,

My name is Al-Alahmed, a simple name for a simple fellow.

So simple that I knew nothing of men like David Slaughter or his wordly works, until one sunny afternoon, 14th July 2003. I was walking, a method of transport I use frequently, and upon my journey I decided to phone my mother and ask if we could have a chicken. Upon removing my mobile telephone, I noticed that I had no signal. With a flood of anger that could only be caused by a lack of signal, or David Blunkett, I decided to try and repair my phone.

BIG MISTAKE!

Little did I know that my actions could have led to my untimely demise. Thankfully a man more noble then a knight, more handsome then a lava lamp and more smooth then a greased up black man emerged from the local cantonese restuarant. I remember little of what he said as I drank in the beauty of this man, save that had I attempted to repair the P.I.M.P chip in my phone, it would have transformed into an Islamic extremist and blown off my face. How close I came to the end!With the reflexes of a rabbit (not an albino! It's worth noting that albino rabbits are very slow and probably stupid), my saviour took my phone, viewed it on all sides and then spoke sweet nothings into it.

SUCCESS!

Not only was my phone repaired, and doped up on signal. But it now had a Gary Coleman ringtone as well. Only then did I realise what a great guy this man was. If I had homosexuality, I probably would have asked him out. Most probably to Adventure Island, or maybe for a taco. Anyway, I don't so I didn't.As quickly as he came, the man had left leaving me with a feeling close to nausea, but with a purpose!My life changed that day as I dedicated myself to finding and thanking the dashing streak of man bacon.

So now, I say this. Thank you David Slaughter."

It's amazing. Never has one man, touched so many in so many ways, to paraphrase Winston Churchill somewhat. Or Gary Glitter. Either way it's awesome

Over to you in listener-land

As the first of what I hope will become a regular feature, I will start cross-posting the best comments from the board, just to show the widespread love that exists out there. This beauty is from our own Matt MacKenzie, extradited from the country to Gibraltar on the very crimes that laws were founded for to curtail Dave's behaviour:

"Hi folks,

I imagine that you are looking through this website for the same reason i am - to somehow get a bit of inner peace by simply looking on the beauty of DAVE!!!

When i was fortunate enough to finally meet the man himself i felt the awe, the wonder and he's perfectly formed backside (On the sly) and i was sad. I knew that God himself had created the perfect man and that mere-mortals such as ourselves can only aspire to be.So for all you DAVE-a-holics out there i say this:


WE ARE BLESSED!!!"



Amen. I'm sure this is the kind of love a lot of us are feeling

To Dave-finity and beyond!!!

Shhhhhhh........

Dave is sleeping. God knows how I managed to take this, whilst driving, but it is great nontheless

Never one to lose his head in a crisis, Dave resorts to pouting for the camera, when it seems no other course of action is possible. Alas, whilst attractive, this pose solves nothing. Although you must admit, it is pretty impressive

I can't see there beiong any use for this picture for the next ten months or so, so better to share it with the world now. Happy January people!

This is how Dave and I would look if we were 15% sexier.

The only problem is that this puts Dave on 115% sexy. Which is clearly too sexy for any man, were they not man enough to be Dave of course.

Welcome to the world of Dave

This is the story of a man. Well not quite a man, but a living legend. This is a collection of quotes, anecdotes and stories, as well as some great pictures that come together to make Doghouse: the Legend that is Dave Slaughter