Never missing a trick

Never one to miss a trick, Dave is always quick at scouting out potential ladies. Here he appears to have been distracted by what seems to be a lady poster, but will in fact turn out to be a real-life lady, he truly is one step ahead

Scientific Breakthrough

Scientists in Japan have just come up with a miracle Dave repellent. It turns out that by placing another Dave into the equation, Dave cannot cope. Please see the above example, Dave is trying to pull his normal face, but is struggling due to the presence of another Dave.

You can't argue with that, it's science

Too much Dave will kill you

Oh dear..... It was bound to happen at some point. Like all good narcotics in life, there is a thin line between social Dave consumption and full blown addiction. You must feel sorry for those who canot control their Dave urges.
You all remember baby Fred? Well it turns out that he didn't disappear, as everybody else suspected, he just became some kind of slave to Dave. He managed to squeeze out this quick message. Just to show his level of addiction, in his one moment of freedom, he is straight on to a Dave website. Please read the below story, NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED :


"I am writing from the grasp of Dave.

I made a mistake and looked into his handsome eyes but i could not take such beauty and I am now a prisoner of his love. I dont have much time, my master is coming.

I fear its time for my erotic monkey dancing, master dave says it helps him relax, someone please help me escape his spell, I have a poo to look after and without my guidance she will stray,

Dave you know not what you have done to me.

Please help.

Fred...

Keeping focus on Sultryness

See, if every picture tells a thousand stories, then this is no exception, and those stories are of attraction, lust and reseverance over difficult surroundings. However, what the picture does not show is that at this point I am actually spinning Dave on the chair he is on. Despite this he still manages to realise there is a camera, and erfect the Dave stare at the same time. Class, he is like a thoroughbred.

Dave on Holidays

With Dave off t'Egypt for a while, we have to rely on archive footage for a while. In the above example, Dave is nearly out-pouted by Lisa. However, like highlander, there can be only one true pouter, and due to Dave's clear eye-line for the camera, he takes it.

Care ye for a fine ale sir?

Always one to offer the finest in hospitality no matter where the location, Dave is prepared to furnish you with a fine glass of ale or perhaps port, whatever your choice may be. mmmmmm Refreshing!

Thanks for persevering....

Apologies, kids, for the lack of recent updates. This has been due more to carrying out field research, in the form of spending actual time with a real life Dave, as opposed to one on photograph. This was relatively successful, although like all of these occasions, you end up actually remembering very little about the night, due to the sheer volume of booze ingested. Note to self: Take a notebook next time.

So to make up for this, I think you all need some extra Dave for persevering with me. Here is some extra Dave, pat yourselves on your respective backs for sticking with it.
Sit back, put your feet up, have a cup of tea, break out the lotion and look at the next photo’s of Dave.



London, Paris, Bas Vegas, Dave can be found at all the fashion hotspots of the world, lapping up the fine fashion designs of the world, at all of the hottest parties. Like this, for example, where you can see the finest Burberry jackets.
True Dave Fact: The blue steel pose in Zoolander was possibly modelled on this pose, one of Dave’s favourites.

Shameless cash-in

Need quiet time from Dave? Put Dave in his sleeping-box. Guaranteed to keep Dave quiet for at least 15 minutes, or your money back. Available at all good Dave retail outlets.

Kelly Holmes eat your heart out

Remember: Dave loves his drinks like he loves his women: Fast, gushing and in the back of Darren’s car. Wine box dentist chair, it simply has to become an Olympic sport.

Play that funky music

If you ever need somebody to strike air guitar poses semi-naked at any time of the day, then call Dave.

This is possibly one of my favourite photos. It sums up so much. Look at the fretwork..... He's like Hendrix. Exactly like Hendrix

Girls are Just like shoes

An awesome Dave story for the regular readers.

Well its actually more a word of wisdom, from our Dave, who is kind of like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair (Ok I can't lay claim to that one, it is an Anchorman quote, but equally apt when applied to Dave)

Anyway, back to the word of advice, universally useful, particularly if you are a guy or a girl that likes girls:

"Girls are just like shoes:

Some are Zipped, some are laced, some are velcro

and some of them just slip right on"

Friends in High Places

Dave, as we are all aware, is a very well connected man. Here, as his secret alter-ego Zorro, he sets upon the task of seducing Spiderman. Will Spidey succumb to his charms? One can only assume that yes, yes he will. After all, look at the hip posture.

Fall into the trap

Be careful, or you will, as this unfortunate soul did, fall into the lair of Dave. Despite the attention being lavished on him, Dave still wants more. That's right, He's looking straight at you, straight into your soul.... He wants.... YOU!